Week Five

Greetings, browsers of the Internet. I apologize for another late post, but I was, once again, on vacation. Anyway, I now give you the comics:
Baby Blues: The father thinks kids movies are too violent. Noooo! I thought this strip was mediocre!
Baldo: Baldo's dad likes tools. Wow. I am speechless.
Beetle Baily: Bigfoot invades their camp. It would seem that every strip beginning with "B" is cursed to be unfunny.
Blondie: They just ruin it with the punch line. It makes no sense and has nothing to do with the rest of the strip. Just read it to understand what I mean.
Bound & Gagged: A girl is influenced by "The Hunger Games" to shoot toilet plungers everywhere. Why must Ms. Summers ruin such a riveting read with such a revolting joke?
Close to Home: It is random, it has no plot and it involves an old woman getting hit by bowling balls. Not sure what to say about it other than it is becoming almost as weird as Bound & Gagged usually is.
Crank Shaft: Along with a terrible joke about quilts having insurance, there is a random shemale in panel 4. Oh, it's a strange one all right.
Dennis the Menace: Dennis gets into an argument with his mother and sends a large packet to his father in order to make him side with Dennis. In the comments, tell me if you agree that all strips should leave the comics once they have ran for 50 years.
Family Circus: The kids are sharing their thoughts on how they like their bath. I've heard stories that once every 50 years, legend has it that this strip stops trying to make octogenarians smile at the "cute" kids with an IQ of 2 and is actually funny.
For Better or for Worse: The husband sucks at talking to his wife. The cartoonist sucks at writing her strip.
Fred Basset: Fred uses an expression that no one has uttered since 1952, tries to stop his owner from being "cross" with him, then uses an expression that no one has uttered since 1952.
Get Fuzzy: Really, this is an okay strip, but I would like to comment on how weird Bucky is currently being drawn. Seriously, give me the 2005 Bucky!
Jump Start: Yet another failure to be modern.
Luann: Luann talks about going to college next year. Oh, joy! The strip appealing only to teenage girls cannot survive with Luann in college. I would like to request either "Garfield Minus Garfield" or "That is Priceless" to replace it next fall.
Marmaduke: The mutt can't take a hint to leave some kids alone. C'mon, Old Yeller. Marmaduke has to have Old Yeller's death next week.
Mother Goose and Grim: Godzilla is picky about eating cities. Even more random than "Close to Home".
Mutts: Although the plot is stupider than the joke, it does have swearing. Maybe Mr. McDonell is becoming less like "Family Circus".
Pearls Before Swine: The first funny strip of the day. Why am I not surprised?
Pickles: That annoying recurring gag where Earl is lazy strikes again.
Pluggers: Another stupid strip talking about losers such as the cartoonist and making up words "in quotes".
Rose is Rose: Wimmer and Brady lay off the Prozac and enter a whole new world of stupid.
Sally Forth: Once more, there are twice as many words as in the average "Dilbert" strip.
And with that, I will see you next week, where some will be loved, some will be hated, and some will go without mention.