Week Eleven

Greetings, browsers of the Internet. I regret to inform you that this site has become less of a fun activity and more of a Sunday morning chore for me, so this will be the second-to-last post on the blog. I now give you, the near end of the comics:
Blondie: Bumpstead has no courage and can't stand thinking of not being right without knowing that, if that makes any sense. Anyway, it wasn't funny.
Crankshaft: The geezer's son doesn't like football anymore. How hilarious.
Dennis the Menace: Mr. Wilson is a bad comedian. Funny how one would think someone not being funny is funny.
Family Circus: The mother has to make cupcakes, but she's too tired. This, my friends, is pure comedy gold.
For Better or for Worse: The father has an annoying patient. Wow, this is even better than family circus. (Actually it is, but it's far from a feat to be better than them.)
Foxtrot: This strip isn't in my paper, but I have been paid to give it a review: I find it neutral.
Fred Basset: Fred doesn't want to go in the rain. I am just appalled at how funny this is.
Marmaduke: The mutt wants to set fire to his owner. He should, considering they must have committed animal cruelty and put him on drugs to make him immortal and crack stupid jokes for his dumb comic for decades after he should have naturally died.
Mutts: The stupid animals have no life, so they spend all of the end of summer staring at a tree, waiting for it to drop leaves on them. What a pitiful existence.
 Pearls Before Swine: As usual, first funny strip of the day.
Pluggers: Who is Como Perry?
Rose is Rose: Her husband would rather win the lottery than remember one stupid fact about Rose. Wow. He is cooooold.
And on that note, I'll see you next week, for the finale of this blog.

Week Ten

Greetings, browsers of the Internet. Once again, I have nothing to say, except that, seeing as we have yet to get an email in the inbox of ComicsCurmudgeon@gmail.com, I will no longer do the Wednesday question responding I was planning to do. I now give you, the comics:
Close to Home: A man is stranded in the ocean and sharks are about to attack him. But, of course, they're nurse sharks, so he'll be fine. On a completely unrelated note, I think this is the first time that Bound and Gagged has been neutral.
Crankshaft: The geezer hires someone to mow his lawn, and, here comes the funny part, the lawnmower is broken when he's done!!! Ahahahahahahahaha!!! So funny it's not.
Dennis the Menace: Dennis and his father don't like to do chores. Once again, so funny it's not.
Family Circus: For whatever reason, the kids' mom thinks that this country has a good future because her kids and their Friends play with dolls and draw rockets.
For Better or For Worse: The mother thinks she's ugly. Who would call this humor?
Fred Basset: Fred's owner is lazy. Why are all the 50 year old strips describing common personality traits? Wait, the mom in Family Circus is the only thing in the world that believes we can be safe with dolls and drawings even worse in quality than she is.
Marmaduke: Because they respect the mutt, the mutt's family is apparently "spoiling him rotten".
Mutts: Earl doesn't know first grade math. Is the joke that he's an idiot?
Pearls Before Swine: As usual, the only funny strip in the funnies. Well, maybe Tundra will be good, but who's to say?
Pluggers: More hypocrisy.
Rose is Rose: Rose doesn't like rain. Hi-larious.
Tundra: Nope, I was wrong. It's a neutral one.
And on that note, I'll see you next Sunday, where some will be loved, some will be hated, and  some(hopefully less) will go without mention.

Week Nine

Greetings, browsers of the Internet. This week has been uneventful, and there are still no questions or suggestions in the inbox of ComicsCurmudgeon@gmail.com. I now give you, the comics:
Beetle Baily: Beetle isn't man enough to insult Sarge. That was so funny I forgot to give a crap.
Blondie: Dagwood wants his hair cut normally. Oh, what their calling funny now.
Crankshaft: The geezer has stupid rules.
Dennis the Menace: Dennis doesn't like school. This doesn't surprise me, seeing as he's been a first grader for around 50 years.
Family Circus: The kids throw things on the roof. What is funny about this, Mr. Keane?
For Better or For Worse: The mentally challenged four-year-old is getting into trouble. Well, at least Michael isn't nude in this one.
Fred Basset: Fred is observing what his owners are eating. Absolutely hilarious, Mr. Graham. You are a comics legend.
Pearls Before Swine: Normally I would thank Stephan Pastis for a funny strip, but today only the really terrible ones aren't neutral.
Pluggers: Usual hypocrisy from the author.
Rose is Rose: Usual Prozac.
And on that note, I'll se you next Sunday, (hopefully with less neutral strips, as I know this is only about a third as much as I usually have) where some will be loved, some will be hated and some will go without mention.

Week Eight

Greetings, browsers of the Internet. I apologize for the absence of the Q&A answering on Wednesday, but there were no questions. I now give you, the comics:
Blondie: Dagwood sucks at gin. Mr. Young sucks at cartooning.
Bound&Gagged: A pun about backseat cattle drivers. I am completely sure that this joke confused at least half of America.
Close to Home: A terrible pun complimented by a creep eating a dead mouse and wearing an owl mask.
Crankshaft: The geezer's son is paranoid about nuclear war. Way to be deep, Mr. Batuik.
Dennis the Menace: Dennis doesn't want to go to bed. God, this kid is so unique it's scary.
Dilbert: One of Dilbert's co-workers is gay and in a relationship with himself. Good for him.
Family Circus: Billy is an idiot. I think we've already established that, Mr. Keane. But, just for good measure, for the next three Sundays, tell us that you know Dolly, Jeffy and PJ are equally idiotic.
For Better or For Worse: An image of Michael nude has scarred me for life. Speaking of which, why has there been so much nudity in the comics lately. First Pickles, then this strip.
Fred Basset: Fred likes to play. This dog is even more unique than Dennis.
Jump Start: The boy commits the unforgivable sin of killing a fly because "it doesn't give him nougat".
Marmaduke: Some idiot wants to talk to a dog on a forty year old phone. Why cant that fathead wrap his defective mind around the fact that dogs can't talk?
Mutts: Three terrible puns about the shapes of the panels.
Pearls Before Swine: This...this is the first time this strip wasn't good. It...it wasn't bad, but... THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!!!!
Pickles: Earl is delusional. We all know this, even though it was supposed to be hidden, like the Famiy Circus.
Pluggers: Idiotic as usual, moving on.
Rose is Rose: Pasquale is stupid enough to believe that dropping his own change in the shoe box cash register of his failing lemonade stand will help buisiness.
Sally Forth: The wedding. The storyline that Sally hasn't shut up about for about a month now. I have just realized that this giant stroyline is about a 65 year old marrying a 20 year old. I cannot believe that people read this crap.
On that note, see you all next time, where some will be loved, some will be hated and some will go without mention.