Week Three

Greetings, browsers of the Internet. I apologize for the late post today, but I recently got back from a weekend trip. I assure you that next week I will post on time. Anyway, I now give you, the comics:
Baldo: His little sister likes bugs. I am laughing myself out of my chair.
Beetle Baily: Beetle's a klutz. Once again, laughing myself out of my chair.
Blondie: Bumstead likes the Olympics. God, people, get some creativity.
Bound and Gagged: A guy regrets joining the navy. Please let the next strip not suck, please let the next strip not suck.
Classic Peanuts: Normally I wouldn't mention an okay strip, but I will now to say that God listened to my prayers. Or it was a stupid coincidence.
Close to Home: I read it five times before I got the joke. Ugh.
Crankshaft: An epic fail at making a baseball joke funny.
Dennis the Menace: Wow. A pun about how there isn't much sitting involved in babysitting. Real original.
Family Circus: Billy thinks that the water in his kiddie pool is too hot. Please seek professional help, Mr. Keane.
For Better or For Worse: Elizabeth feeds people dog food. This proves two things: Lynn Johnston has no sense of humor and her characters have no brains.
Fred Basset: Fred is explaining what he's doing. Maybe Grahm is trying to be sensitive to blind people, although I'm willing to bet not many newspapers print their comics in brail.
Get Fuzzy: A very uncharacteristic day in which Darby Conely has a stupid gag.
Garfield: Garfield gains weight while watching a weight loss show. Irony is not generally funny, Mr. Davis.
Jump Start: Marcus rants about the good old days when water was free, etc, etc, etc. Please, Mr. Armstrong, give me something funny. I expect it from the funnies.
Luann: Luann feels like she lives in a comic strip. Uuuggghhh...
Marmaduke: The dumb dog can't wait two seconds for a walk. The dumb owner can't wait two seconds to walk him. Funnier than the strip is that Mr. Anderson still has a career.
Mother Goose and Grim: A failure to be hip. Weird. It's as if I'm having Deja vu. Wonder what it could be.
Mutts: My guess is that Mr, McDonnell has made enough money to retire and is expressing that with strips like these.
One Big Happy: Ruthie is scared of a crow that is stalking her. Wow. This is just too funny.
Pearls Before Swine: Thank you, Mr. Pastis. In a world where the funnies suck, and I mean suck, I can always turn to you for funniness.
Pickles: Earl can't work a remote or a phone. I sigh sadly at the stupidity of it all.
Pluggers: Please, Mr. Brookins, quit describing losers when you are one, you hippocrite. Ooohhh, snap!
Rose is Rose: Pasquale falls asleep playing a boardgame. Please, Mr Wimmer and Mr Brady, write something funny for a change. Wait, if they were funny, it would signal the apocalypse.
Sally Forth: Like last week, too many words. This time, Sally was yacking to a friend, not a phone. Subtle improvent. Very subtle.
On that note, see you next Sunday, where some will be loved, some will be hated, and some will go without mention.